20X2 - Year Of Rest

Once again, the time of year has come.

2020's highlight to most would be Covid-19. 

And to most, it would be a horrible and unfortunate year - Loss of income, change in lifestyle due to shop closure/restrictions/regulations.

But for me, 

It was the perfect year to take a break and rest.

Before, I was always hustling and busy with work, dating, live gigs, live streaming. I barely had time to take a break to catch a drama, read a book, zone out. But in most of 2020, I was literally resting - not working, just taking things slow, chasing dramas, reading books, taking enrichment classes. I'll cover more on that later!

As for many that lost their income this year, I did suffer my fair share too.

I left my full time in Nov'19 to pursue music and start my own business venture in 2020.

Things were going pretty well in Jan-Mar : Live gigs, positive balance sheets, live streaming.

Then, everything went crumbling down.

In April, Circuit Breaker happened. Pubs closed. That immediately cut me off my first stable source of income from live singing. And for my business ventures, it had to be put on hold as well (tho we eventually managed to find an alternative way to operate under regulations). 

In June, I was abruptly admitted to hospital for spontaneous pneumothorax for close to 2 weeks (Click on pic to find out more about my admission lol). That cut off my last source of income - live streaming. I was not able to sing due to obvious reasons and I was mostly resting after my discharge cause my body was healing. 

In July, I had a follow up operation for my condition and the subsequent 1-2 months were spent resting instead of singing - that explains why I didn't really sung/did covers much this year despite trying (also, I might be a little lazy after I recover lol)

.................

I was pretty much defeated by life in almost every way possible but despite that,

I'm thankful for the year.

It gave me an opportunity to slow down in life, take a break, appreciate many things better, and have a very different perspective to many aspects in life. 

1. My Dream Room!

Finally own my OWN room and designed it to be the way I wanted it to be - you can click on the image to link to IG to see the features in my room. But namely, movie theatre; recording/livestream area; galore of my fav figurine area. The newly added gaming station is for M when he comes over (you can see his uncle game screen capture lol)

2. Baking

Using the skillsfuture credit given by the government, I took up baking courses with my mum and learned how to bake. I was ambitious and baked Christmas bento cakes for my friends and families, and a humongous birthday cake for M, lol. 

3. Different Experiences

In 20x2, I did vlogs; game-streaming; teaching in schools; and many ad-hoc things that I don't/won't usually get to do when I had a full-time job. Other than baking, I also took up courses to learn how to draw and produce music. So, hopefully I'll get to be more efficient in 2021 to put what I've learnt into good use.

4. More Time with Family & Friends

I mean, I don't meet them on daily basis or even weekly. 

BUT, comparatively to the previous few years, I've had more time for my friends this year and I've been meeting them up a couple of times more than before - whether to MJ, shop, HTHT or just eat & relax. AND as I'm writing this, I realize that we don't actually take pictures together when we hang out on a norm basis LOL! 

5. Le BF

I can't be more grateful to be going through 20x2 with M this year. 

Deliberately driving to stand-alone/unpopular marts to do groceries shopping, cooking, wfh, hunting for open boba shops during circuit breaker was one of the most romantic and memorable moment that we wouldn't have the chance to experience this year if it wasn't for Covid'19. During my first-ever-in-my-life hospital stay (which was terrifying and traumatic btw), it was very comforting to know someone is there for you and that you don't have to worry about anything other than healing up. I've got a personal delivery bf during (and even after) my hospital stay whenever I have cravings for food or need anything. 

Instead of traveling, we got to go on cruise and staycations. Instead of heading out for dates, we got to nexflix and chill during food (we still head out for dates once in a while!). We started playing com games and spent more quality time together, and I'm thankful for that. 

.................

Moving on to 2021, 

I'm really unsure of what to expect considering Covid.

But in this upcoming year, I would like to strive harder than before and achieve greater things in the following aspects:

1. Music

Now that I've learned how to produce songs from home, I really hope I can commit to posting at least 1 cover/original a month. And that my passion for music will never die away as I grow older and blend in to society.

2. Career

Guess this is kinda personal to discuss but I guess I'll just summarize it enough for myself to understand - stability.

3. Focus

I realized that over the years of setting resolutions, I've been too ambitious. And during the process/year, I end up doing TOO many things and lost focus of my goals. I'm kinda like a bit of here and there yet not really anywhere. So for this upcoming year, I will most likely stop any forms of streaming and focus on producing music content while working. I believe these 2 will consume most of my time and energy. With that, I'll also probably need time management to manage between these 2 and dating/family/friends.

4. Health 

I know I say this every year but, I REALLY NEED TO START WORKING OUT for health reasons and not because I need to lose weight or look good or what. I need to have a healthier lifestyle before it's too late to save whatever's already left. Let's start with aiming for ONE day of exercise a week lol.

5. Save

It's crazy that although I'm not earning this year, I've been spending as much as the past year. I won't say I regret the spendings cause I enjoyed the process and the things I got for myself/others. Especially when this year is the year of rest/self-care. Just that I NEED to save up for future plans and I hope I will be busy enough next year to not have time to spend LOL!

.................

And yes, just 5 simple resolutions.

Easy to list, hard to achieve.

But I'm pretty determined this time round. Let's see.

See you back here 365 days later!

2019: Year Of Growth

I know I barely update this blog anymore, but I guess this "tradition" of doing a yearly summary post + new year resolution post serves me well - I get to see how I slowly grow through the years, the good and bad times I've had, reminding myself to appreciate the blessings once again and to see myself change whilst I learn from my past mistakes.

2019.

It passed way too quickly.

I'm not sure if I would say that it was a bad year or a good one, but I'm pretty certain I've had more good times in the 2nd half the year that is enough to cover up the horrible start of 2019.

And among my resolutions set for 2019, 

(let's recap-)

1. Familiarize myself with minor& sharp/flat chords on the guitar

2. Get a bike/diving license

3. Release a song with proper arrangements

4. Mini performance overseas (with le band)

5. More covers

6. Get more rest

7. Start working out/dance?

8. Have more time for myself to relax

9. Massive printing of photos to hardcopy

10. Travel lesser, but further

I guess I've only managed to complete 2, and probably 6&8 in the last month of the year.

It's been a year of getting lost and stumbling my way through, and hence, a year of growth.

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I guess it's the first time ever that I've withdrawn myself from social media for a few months during the start of 2019. Not surfing Facebook/Instagram/even replying texts. And throughout the year of 2019, I've been using way lesser of social media & connecting with people. I'm sorry if I was irresponsible to do so, but I needed the space. I needed it.

Many horrible things happened, but through it all, I've learnt what I needed to.

1. Forgiveness. 

When people do harm to me and hurt me intentionally, instead of wishing for the worst karma to strike them, I feel happy (sincerely) for them to have found peace within themselves and be happy with their lives.

2. Self-Control.

 I learnt to control how I feel and think when I can't do anything to change my situation. I always bear in mind - I can't control nor change others' actions nor thinking, but I can control and change mine.

3. "Let it Be". 

I learnt to "let it be" - it may be 3 simple words, but it was harder to do than say. I learnt to loosen myself up instead of worrying too much over many situations. To try my best in everything and accept the results as it is.

4. Self Improvement.

 I guess this is the year I've read the most books - both on marketing related and about life. Improving my thoughts, being in a better mental state and being positive, making myself better for me. 

5. Perception. 

I might think I know people (or vice versa of people thinking they know me), but what we perceive are based on what we as individuals think or choose to believe. Yet, it might not be entirely right or true. 

6. Happiness. 

I stopped chasing after what I think would make me happy. Instead, I stopped and appreciate the little things that has always been making me happy. I cut off connections I didn't want to, that were the causes of negative emotions. 

7. Gratitude. 

Whether good or bad, I'm glad whatever happened in 2019 (or in the past) happened. This made me who I am today. I wouldn't specifically thank those to hurt me because it'll be stupid to thank someone who inflicted pain in you. But I'd especially like to thank the people who stood by me and watch me grow. 

8. Privacy.

I guess I was into blogging since I was 13 or 14? - in short, when I was really young. I grew up ranting to the internet and somehow it became a habit for me. Yet this in the recent years, especially this year, I've kept many things to myself because I can't talk about the shit that happened. I've learned to hold it in, and slowly let go. 

9. Spreading Positivity.

At least for my public accounts, I've started the habit since the start of the year to not post anything negative or anything that would worry you guys about me. Like how I want my music to help people going through tough times like me, I'm need to do so on normal days too.

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Also, I'd like to note these highlights of 2019 down on my blog too:

1. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 小諾伊 🦇 Noelle Mikazuki (@noellemikazuki) on Jul 6, 2019 at 9:26pm PDT

I joined a competition with le band mates "bandnextdoor" and we got into the finals! Though we didn't win, it was surely one experience in life I'd like to remember.

2.

I've gotten my open water diver certification after umpteenth time of saying that I want to get it and despite my fear for water/sea!! Thank you to M too, for going through this with me even though he already has the certification.

3. 

I've had the FIRST ever road trip in my life (excluding Malaysia). M & I actually had a round-Taiwan road trip where we went to 8 different cities in Taiwan and stayed in 7 different accommodations (crazy right?!). It was fun but a tad bit tiring cause we gotta check out at 11 or 12 everyday - which means we gotta wake up at 10-11AM for the whole trip. Defo was more tiring for M cause he's been the driver & motorist for 99.99% of the trip. It was a great experience though, and I'm looking forward to more road trips in other parts of the world!


4. 

I've actually started gigging - SOLO. It's quite a thing for me because I've always done gigs with someone else playing the instruments along with me and someone sharing the stage with me so that they can 讲冷笑话 with me so that I don't end up being too awkward. But I'm glad I had the chance this year to take up a solo regular!


5. 

I've found someone that I can be completely retarded with (he beats me to it most of the time :p). I'm not so much of a mushy wordy person but I'm glad you came into my life and made my 2019 such a great one.

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Moving forward to 20X2, I'm actually expecting bigger changes in life that I myself am uncertain about. But I'm definitely more excited than worried about what the future holds :)

So, down to my
Resolutions for 20X2

1. Healthier Lifestyle: Sleeping habits + Workout routines

2. Better Time Management & Self Discipline

3. Bike License?

4. More Covers/Recording of Originals

5. Career Progression

I honestly can't think of 10. Because these 5 are enough to keep me busy for next year and its what I really want to achieve so I would stay focused on these 5 instead of setting too many and end up not achieving them. 

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OK, today is officially the last day I'm gonna sleep at such wee hours so..

GOODNIGHT & GOODMORNING

for the last time!